On Writing, Part 1

06/16/2008 By Shawn Burns

So, last week (or the week before that, or some other time in the distant, misty past) I mentioned that I was very tired and had been doing a lot of writing.

Some of you were really excited about this, and I can only say “Thanks” and “Don’t get your hopes up”. Yes, you will all be able to read what I’ve been writing. No, it won’t be any better than what I do over here on a near-daily basis. I’m not a writer. I’m a dad who has a computer. If you want to read a writer go read Black Hockey Jesus. Sheesh. As if that guy needs a plug from me after getting talked up by Stefanie and Jenny the Blogess. Deservedly so, because even though he broke out onto the blogging scene just a few weeks ago, and even though all of my readers are going to cruise over and celebrate him as the champion daddy blogger, and even though I am whatever-is-greener-than-envy, I just have to tip my hat to the guy. If all dad bloggers were as good as he no one would need television.

Anyway, back to me.

So, what’s the deal?

M’not telling.


Of course I’m telling. In two parts. First, the first part, and the one that came along first and which I have done nothing about at all (because I like to take things in the reverse order in which they appear):

I was asked by a reader (either of this blog or just of comments I leave on other blogs, where, honestly, my best work really is…I’m at my best in 20 words or less…or silent) if I ever wrote any fiction.

No. No I don’t.

Would you like to?

Well, I don’t know……

Because, you see, I’ve been reading your stuff and I think you have a perfect voice for this project I have going over here.

Well…let me check it out. Hang on. What the hell made you think I’d have a perfect voice for Chick Lit?


I mean, come on. I’m all manly as hell with my huge pecs (man boobs) and rockin’ abs (beergut) and my sappy poetry.



Well…..sure. Sounds like fun. But I get to write about tanks and swords and stuff.




*Sigh*. Kittens and puppies?

Why don’t you just write a chapter in the freakin’ book and have it further along this story that we’re collaborating on about a woman in a culinary school and the guy who shows up to be her partner?



It’s a project called Chapterbytes, and I’ll be writing my chapter in a couple of weeks. By then hopefully my co-authors will have killed off the guy and he’ll need some revenging (Heroine grabs sword and stabs it through the heart of the ninja robot tank). Or, I’ll get the chance to find out if I can write humorous romantic…stuff…

So, I am officially a Chapterbytes author:

Take that, world who always said I’d never amount to anything in the Chick Lit Fiction area. I showed you.