Comments on: Sophie Redux

By: gudnuff

gudnuff — Mon, 03 May 2010 05:26:26 +0000

I just stumbled upon you through a google search “dad demands docile daughter” …triggered by my husband’s irritation with our 9-year-old daughter’s burgeoning indepdence and initiative in the kitchen earlier this evening. Your thoughts in this post are exactly what I’m wondering about for our daughter. And as the mother/wife, what role do I play? Do I back him up? Is she really being sassy? I didn’t take it that way, but he did. What if I’m right and his insistence on her being unquestioningly obedient and wholly reactive (rather than proactive and showing initiative) are what cause her to lose her spunk? Is this the beginnings of her loss of confidence? Or am I being overly dramatic? Anyway, it is validating to find somebody else out there, a father no less, who seems to tango with these same thoughts. Now I’m gonna check out your post “Little Boys and Girls, Part One”…

By: Greg - Telling Dad

Greg - Telling Dad — Sat, 06 Mar 2010 02:42:29 +0000

I have the same thoughts and fears as yourself only I’m completely incapable of putting them into words as eloquently as you do. I really enjoy your blog and have been reading you ever since I stumbled into the blogosphere last Fall.

From what I’ve read, you’re an incredible father, and most of our efforts have to come from our own thoughts on what a father should be. I’ve read many books with contradictory opinion on the “right way” to raise a child, and ultimately, I decided that I’ll blaze my own trail.

I definitely treat my daughter differently as I see her as more fragile than the boys. But over time, and as she closes in on her second birthday, I can see that this is totally impractical. For she is the rough and tumble child. I can’t help but wonder if my overprotective nature has budded the start of rebellion.

Great piece and I suppose I finally felt compelled to comment, but know that I’m lurking. Not in a creepy stalker kind of way, but in a “damn, this dude can write” kind of way.

Take care.

By: DiggyDaddy

DiggyDaddy — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 22:14:13 +0000

I’ve got two boys. A few weeks ago we thought we might be pregnant. This after pretty much deciding we were done. All the thoughts of having a daughter resurfaced. Well, it turned out to be a false alarm.

I have to admit that the concerns and strategies for raising a girl were different than the ones I have and use raising boys. Some were remarkably similar but others were just darn different. Have to say, we’re both relieved but a little sad. I think I’m sad for my wife. A little girl for her would have been nice.

By: Kelly@Childhood

Kelly@Childhood — Mon, 01 Mar 2010 15:03:20 +0000

PS… I thought you died or something. Welcome back.

By: Kelly@Childhood

Kelly@Childhood — Mon, 01 Mar 2010 15:01:32 +0000

Girls should become accustomed to annoyances early on… I’d also like to add disappointments. Because as a girl myself… raising two girls… people fail and it’s not only annoying… it’s disappointing. My advice… stop crying and do it yourself. That’s the only way things get done right anyway. I should be given some sort of parenting award for that.

By: Brooke

Brooke — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 16:44:27 +0000

I am pleased to report, that despite my original fears, as the parent of of 3 boys and 2 girls, the differences between them individually are more significant than their commonalities in gender, and I’ll bet you find that, too.

And your blogging is fine, dude.

By: Second Time Around

Second Time Around — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 03:32:47 +0000

What I’d really like to know is how you feel about this two years later. Has your perspective changed?

I have two daughters, 30 and 25 (years) and a son, 18 (months). Any parent who thinks at all will wonder from time to time if they’re screwing up their kids, sons and daughters. And it doesn’t really stop after they emerge from the baby days either. Even with my daughters now well into adulthood I am very conscious of the effect that my words and deeds have on them. On the other hand you can at least talk to them about feelings (hurt and otherwise) as adults, so the who premise is much more transparent. There is no doubt that I’m parenting my son differently, but then just about everything is different now than it was 25 years ago, including me.

I loved this post. Thanks.

By: Kelly

Kelly — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 03:14:38 +0000

I was going to go into a story that just happened a couple weeks ago with my 4 1/2 yr old daughter but I tend to get long winded. The gist of it she got in trouble for not doing what I told her to do as silly as what I told her to do was, it was the principal behind it that made me enforce the punishment. One of the things that I have learned in parenting is that follow through is the most essential thing about it. In essence “let your yea’s be yea and your nay’s be nay.” If I told you to say metamorphosis because they asked you to say it on Sesame Street you better say it because I said say it I didn’t ask you to say it. I know it may sound harsh but you know what, I would rather enforce the silly things when she’s young than to have a pre-teen and teenager that does hellish things and all you would have in your defense is they won’t listen to me. The old saying if you teach a child the way to go in the end they will walk in it is prominent in our house.

I think the simple fact that you are worried about whether or not you are screwing up your kids makes you a good parent. If you didn’t care you wouldn’t worry. You would go about selfish ways and things and not care what they are doing. I’m forever terrified I’m going to screw up my kids. Who am I kidding, I probably already have.

By: Well Read Hostess/Jane

Well Read Hostess/Jane — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 03:02:53 +0000

Charles Barkley on his 17-year old daughter not dating yet: “Thank goodness. I just hope she doesn’t start before I go in the Hall of Fame. That way, I won’t have to kill anybody before I get inducted.”

By: tracey

tracey — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 01:40:24 +0000

I readily admit that I am raising my daughter (the youngest) differently than her brothers. She is encouraged to be everything from tender and caring to rough and adventurous. One thing I don’t allow though, is the sissy stuff. The whining, “girly” dramatics that all KIDS do. And this worries me. Am I trying to make her into MY version of what a girl is supposed to be? Am I trying to mold my daughter in ways that she wouldn’t naturally lean towards? Should I back the hell off and just let her be prissy and dramatic if the mood is striking her to be so?

Parenting has more questions than answers…