Disco Shawn. Just because.
1. Typing “your” when you mean “you’re”.
2. Never watching HBO’s “The Wire”.
3. Enjoying any Star Wars films except those in the original trilogy.
4. Driving while texting. (See #1. Don’t be distracted from typing).
5. Avoiding “Bambi” because you don’t want to talk about Bambi’s mom getting shot, but letting the kids watch that “Babar” movie from 1999 in which Babar’s mom totally gets shot.
6. Preferring Coke to Pepsi.
7. Referring to the Emergency Services telephone number in England as “911” instead of the correct “0118 999 881 999 119 725…3”.
8. Letting your kids play soccer. Soccer is boring.
9. Jorts.
10. Thinking Descartes is a direct realist instead of a representational realist.
I’m really offended by this. How dare you! Who do you think you are, pronouncing that Pepsi is better than Coke?
I’m calling child protective services. Because Pepsi tastes like piss.
sorry, real football is better than american football, but if you choose to waste three-to-four hours of life to watch a 60 minute game that only has 15 minutes of actual action of which only 2 minutes involve your kid, so be it.
No one mentioned American Football as the alternative. That’s a mistake too.
You forgot “holding your baby above your head to goo and ga at him right after he ate, which results in him throwing up directly into your mouth.”
Pepsi. Thank you. So far superior.