It’s time once again for “Backpacking Dad Makes You Look At His Vacation Photos”. You love these posts and you wish I would do more of them? Oh, alright then.

We just spent a week in Hawaii with the kids. We split the week between the Hilton Waikiki Village and Disney’s Aulani resort. While both were very fun, and the kids had a great time wherever we were, Aulani was the clear winner for us. If you’re a long-time reader who has seen how much time we spend a Disneyland, right now you are thinking “Well, duh.”

Aulani reminded me of the Disney cruise we took in 2003. Everything was self-contained, within a short walk, and you felt like you were along for the ride. The Hilton felt more like a Vegas resort plopped down at the beach. There were shops and restaurants and bars everywhere, and crowds of people moving from one tourist activity to another (paying a little bit extra at every station). Where Disney invited the entire resort to an outdoor show, the Hilton put on the classic tourist luau. Where Disney had beach chairs set up all along the sand, the Hilton rented them out. Those are philosophical differences, of course. Disney charges for its little extras up front, building it into the room cost, and the Hilton charges as you go. It’s hard to economize at Alauni, and it’s hard not to feel like you need to wring your money’s worth out of the extras you opt for at the Hilton.

Enough review-y words. That’s not what you came here for. You want obnoxious vacation pictures!

First, here’s my giant face.

And Emily’s winning smile.

And Erin glamming it up.

Adrian contemplates penguins in Hawaii.

This is a good-looking group of people right here.

Fire-dancers? Hey, hey Adrian! Look at the fire dancers!

Adrian? Oh, sorry.

Hey! There’s a mouse at my resort!

And another one! This one is kind of cute, though.

The Fourth of July looks better upside down. And on a beach.

And no beach is complete without Watchmen.

In closing, here’s a postcard.

See you again soon, Hawaii.

I’m a Tooth Fairy.

There’s no shortage of meatless meat recipes on the Internet. But if you ask any committed carnivore, they will tell you that no matter how much quinoa or rolled oats you put into a dish, they will never be fooled. Meatless just tastes different.

Until now.

Now there’s the Perfect Meatless Meatloaf. With this meatloaf, you will never again hear complaints from your bloodthirsty friends and family when you try to get them to eat a little less animal protein and a little more bean paste.

First, make a meatloaf as you normally would. This step is important. This meatloaf must in all ways be a regular, meat-filled meatloaf. Your carnivores must see you making it, smell you baking it, and hear you mumbling the directions to yourself: “Okay, so now I start mixing the meat with bread crumbs. Okay, then I add a beaten egg to the meat mixture. Good. Wow, that’s a lot of meat.”

Second, just before serving, send the carnivores out to buy you something. Maybe you need beer, or Mass Effect 4, or new slippers. Oh no! You just realized you need those things, but you can’t go get them! Your hands are covered in meat! See? Look at how much meat there is!

When they get back, they will never realize the trick you have played on them. Serve up the meatloaf you made, then sit back and let the compliments roll in. “This is really great meatloaf! I can totally taste the meat! Delicious!” I guarantee, no one will accuse you of serving up a nutloaf covered in ketchup.

Suckers.