My little blog here is growing up. I’ve finally been doing this long enough that I get search terms in Google other than "backpacking" and "backpacking dad". I finally have what I’ve always dreamed about having: A Search Term Post.
"shawn burns" erin high chair signing time: I love this one because my name is in quotes, like it’s allegedly my name. Also, if they know enough about me already to know that my daughter’s name is Erin and she watches a lot of Signing time and that she climbs her high chair, then why don’t they know the name of the blog? It’s like I have a short-term memory stalker.
naked backpacking: 5 hits from this one? Look. It’s just not a good idea. Ever. Don’t ever go backpacking naked. Unless you are backpacking in a sexy, sexy moonbounce full of bubbles and jello-o wrestling supermodels. Even then, how about taking the backpack off? What is it doing for you?
are mosh pit seats cheaper?: I don’t know, dude. I think it’s just, like, a pit or something. I don’t know if they actually have seats.
does peanut butter cause moobs?: I don’t have all the answers. Maybe. But I can tell you for sure that you can get moobs even without eating peanut butter.
lame tweeting about your lunch dinner: Sorry about that.
"backpacking dad" sex: Again, with the allegedly. This one kind of disappoints me though. Because it makes me think that someone was searching for a site loaded with erotic fiction about me, and instead they landed here. I’d want to find that other site too. This one blows.
"gashlycrumb tinies" "big house": What. the. hell?
amy poehler pregnant: I had nothing to do with that.
creepy notes to write to people: How about "I’m starting a site loaded with erotic fiction about you."?
firendship wordings: Well, that’s one way I suppose.
great funny nicknames like assface: I don’t think that’s a nickname.
how do you know if you’re creepy: if you are the owner of backpackingdadsex.blogspot.com then you are creepy.
is there a martial arts studio next to the Chuck E. Cheese in burlington, ma? Well, my friend. You have come to the right place for all of your Burlington, MA small business location needs.
shut up fake bruce dickenson: Seriously.
pirate signing time shawn burns high chair: Well, at least this person believes me when I say my name. Arrrr.
And the best one:
Your wife is doing this to fuck with you backpacking dad.
I think she wants me to spend less time looking at search terms.