Robot Wizard Superheroes from the Virgo Cluster

12/06/2009 By Shawn Burns

Tom, the time-traveling ne’er-do-well and perfume salesman spun in place after the impact. One Robot Wizard Superhero had hit him so hard that his wipe effect no longer worked. He couldn’t escape. He faced off against the group.

“You are doomed,” said one, “I can read mimes.”

“We can cast “˜magic missile’ and do 16d6 damage points to you,” said another.

“And I can turn into a tractor,” said the third.

So ended Tom, diachronic adventurer and least-favourite uncle.

Later, as the Robot Wizard Superheroes from the Virgo Cluster made their way home their spaceship hit a pothole speaking with a southern accent and burst a flongonian drive. They waited hours for galaxy-side assistance, and when it finally arrived they were nonplussed.

“Hi,” said Tom as he wiped into view. “I’m Tom. Do you have your AAA card handy?”

Unluckily for them they had forgotten their AAA card in the glove compartment of their other car, a 1978 Oldsmobile. So instead of helping them, Tom the time-traveling tow-truck driver and chef de cuisine popped their other flongonian drive and wiped back home. The ship, without any drives, gave up. So ended the Robot Wizard Superheroes from the Virgo Cluster.