Unlike most other parenting bloggers I’m not going to regale you with vacation stories (because regaling is for losers) or pepper you with pictures (because photos are for chumps). I would never do that. You will never see vacation recaps or photos on this blog. Don’t bother searching the archives; all you will find are deep posts about love and fatherhood and insights about social media and some of the funniest jokes you’ve ever read. I will not recap; I will not photo-blog.
I will instead offer some advice for traveling with two-under-four: Bring grandma.
Grandmas wait with sleeping toddlers while the rest of you go on rides at Disneyland.
Grandmas babysit so you can go on a vacation date night.
Grandmas take the potty-trained one to the bathroom while you eat your fifth club sandwich of the trip in peace. Mmmm. Bacon.
Grandmas see your kids’ antics as adorable and infect everyone else with Ador-o-vision so no one ever complains about the noise/mess/smell/assault.
Grandmas always have water bottles handy on hot days on concrete islands.
(Also thanks to my fantastic guest bloggers, all of whom will henceforth be seen through Ador-o-vision glasses for letting me take a week off . Peter, Meghann, Adam, Heather, and Daisy, I ador-o you, and I will now destroy the evidence, as agreed.)