Nintendo Owns My Soul and Your Eyeballs But In Return I’ve Completely Changed the Face of Brand-Blogger Relations

I, being awesome, receive plenty of pitches. I reject 99% of them. I have pretty high standards when it comes to participating in marketing endeavours. Those standards are:

1. Pay me a zillion dollars.

2. If a zillion dollars is not in the budget then play along when I name my non-monetary terms.

I was pitched to be a Nintendo Brand Ambassador. I hesitated about accepting the responsibilities of this office because the duties seemed onerous: Play lots of video games and invite friends to play lots of video games. I wasn’t sure I could commit.

But…it was Nintendo. Nintendo: makers of fine products like “Dragon Warrior” and the Power Glove, sponsors of such films as The Wizard, and advocates for Italian plumbers’ rights to keep dinosaurs as pets. I keep a Gameboy Advance around just so I can play “Zelda II” every now and then and get pissed off that there is no savegame feature in that 80’s masterpiece. “Tetris” is a bathroom accessory in many a home I’ve visited. Admit it. It’s in your bathroom right now, isn’t it?

I was born to be a Nintendo Brand Ambassador, growing up on “Rad Racer” and “Punch Out” and “Contra”. I never owned a non-Nintendo console, ever. I’ve been a Nintendo Loyalist my entire post-Atari life, and if Nintendo had been around in Carp, Ontario in 1982 well then maybe I wouldn’t have been completely fed up with Atari’s “Adventure” after two weeks and abandoned console gaming until “Duck Hunt” came along several years later.

However, from what I can tell about companies, none of them have a zillion dollars. Nintendo does have products, and they were willing to provide me with some. But that alone wouldn’t have convinced me to, in effect, sell all of your eyeballs to THE MAN. Your eyeballs are more valuable to me than some free Nintendo products. Not that much more valuable. But a little.

So, I held out for a commitment from Nintendo to completely restructure their brand-blogger philosophy.

I held out for you. Well, not for all of you. Less than half of you, really.

I held out for the dads.

Because instead of agreeing to associate myself with a company as a Brand Ambassador I forced them to create a whole new position for those of us of the male persuasion.

I am Nintendo’s Esteemed Ambassadad.

IMG-20101027-00288

Yeah, that’s right. Ambassadad. I made that up. For you, guys. For you. Before I agreed to join the Nintendo family of bloggers I made them open the door to all of us dads who are no longer willing to just hang on to the coattails of successful product bloggers. This is our space, and our time now. Nintendo is just the beginning. Soon Ambassadads will be everywhere, opining on products in never-before-seen ways. Perhaps from the comfort of reclining chairs with beers in hand and steaks on the grill. Or jumping from an airplane. I don’t know. We’ll figure it out. There will be duct tape involved in the solution.

It’s not like we haven’t already been engaging with brands. But I encourage all of you who want to participate in the shilling of products to your readers to adopt the Ambassadad label yourself. You will not be a Brand Ambassador, because that sounds ridiculous. Ambassadad, though. Well, that’s just awesome.

Mom bloggers have had plenty of practice swimming at this end of the blogging pool. And the ladies have been wonderfully accommodating so far in letting the guys play too. There have been lots of events targeted at mom bloggers that also have a token dad. But we’re all grown up now and it’s time to strike out on our own. You will no longer need to watch momversations about things or girls nights out about other things and wonder if it’s okay to chime in. You will no longer settle for being included as an afterthought.

No, you will be an Ambassadad, and the world will tremble before your power.

Also please stay tuned to this space for plenty of biased gushing about Nintendo products because I love Nintendo woohoo Nintendo.

(Editor’s Note: I’m not sure that there is an Official Ambassadad position in Nintendo’s hierarchy, but Nintendo’s representatives have, so far, demonstrated a great sense of humour and tolerance for my shenanigans. That counts for a lot.)

14 thoughts on “Nintendo Owns My Soul and Your Eyeballs But In Return I’ve Completely Changed the Face of Brand-Blogger Relations”

  1. Did you even for a moment consider . . . Badassadad? Because that's what the kids are going to call you on the playground.

    1. I figure that since the playground name is just as cool, but wouldn't have

      been ambassadad if I'd gone with badassadad, that this way I get the best of

      both worlds. The Badassambassadad!

    2. I figure that since the playground name is just as cool, but wouldn’t have
      been ambassadad if I’d gone with badassadad, that this way I get the best of
      both worlds. The Badassambassadad!

    3. I figure that since the playground name is just as cool, but wouldn’t have
      been ambassadad if I’d gone with badassadad, that this way I get the best of
      both worlds. The Badassambassadad!

  2. Yes. Ambadassadad. If only from all the mileage my kid gets on the playground when he casually mentions that another crate of Nintendoodads has arrived.

  3. Yes. Ambadassadad. If only from all the mileage my kid gets on the playground when he casually mentions that another crate of Nintendoodads has arrived.

  4. Did you…did you use the word "momversations"?

    Eww.

    Have fun with the big "N" – from what I've seen elswhere, they're a top-notch company to pimp for.

    And no, there is no Tetris in the bathroom – that hallowed space is reserved for Tom Robbins books and tomes dedicated to physics or philosophy. Yes, really.

    I do still have my original Gamboy, the games for it, the extra power pack, AND the light-up, magnifying screen…as well as the wee Game Genie. Hey, why would they have cheat codes if we aren't supposed to use 'em??

    I'll spare you the SNES details…

    Shade and Sweetwater,

    K (who was, once upon a time, a true Nintendo junkie, eschewing all other platforms as inferior)(really)

  5. Did you…did you use the word “momversations”?

    Eww.

    Have fun with the big “N” – from what I’ve seen elswhere, they’re a top-notch company to pimp for.

    And no, there is no Tetris in the bathroom – that hallowed space is reserved for Tom Robbins books and tomes dedicated to physics or philosophy. Yes, really.

    I do still have my original Gamboy, the games for it, the extra power pack, AND the light-up, magnifying screen…as well as the wee Game Genie. Hey, why would they have cheat codes if we aren’t supposed to use ’em??

    I’ll spare you the SNES details…

    Shade and Sweetwater,
    K (who was, once upon a time, a true Nintendo junkie, eschewing all other platforms as inferior)(really)

  6. Yeah, I can't look at that and NOT see badass in there.

    POWERGLOVE! I loved my powerglove. Precursor to the Wii controller. I felt like Iron Man with it on. I felt like Steve Austin. I felt like Batman.

    It didn't work for shit, but I still loved it.

    Cheers,

    Casey

  7. Yeah, I can’t look at that and NOT see badass in there.

    POWERGLOVE! I loved my powerglove. Precursor to the Wii controller. I felt like Iron Man with it on. I felt like Steve Austin. I felt like Batman.

    It didn’t work for shit, but I still loved it.

    Cheers,

    Casey

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