How to Deal with an Attempted Abduction, According to Erin

11/28/2012 By Shawn Burns

Erin has been thinking about “bad guys” a lot lately, and about just the right karate moves to use on him (she knows none), and how she plans to trick the bad guy. She laid out one of her plans yesterday.

“Dad, if a bad guy ever tried to get you, you need to give him a little trick. You need to…you need to, you need to say “I’ll give you some cake,” and you need to bring him with you to this house, then go inside and call 1-9-9, and get the police to put him in jail.”

Yep, every single element of her plan is wrong. And the details are a little fuzzy: Which house is she trying to get him to go into? And is there any cake, or is the cake just a lie?


It’s a trap!

We’ve had talks since then about proper procedure: lots, lots of yelling; running instead of fighting; calling the correct Emergency number (011 899 988 199 911 972 5…3) instead of 1-9-9. I hope it sinks in.

I guess I should be relieved that she’s making plans at all, instead of just acting like her dad, The Great Unplanner. “Oh, hey bad guy. Oh, you want to abduct me? Well, that sounds cool. Let’s see how that works out for a bit, until I get distracted by something shiny. Do you have Mass Effect?”

I guess what I’m saying is, maybe double-check how your kids think they should act in certain situations. And ask if there’s cake.