There’s no shortage of meatless meat recipes on the Internet. But if you ask any committed carnivore, they will tell you that no matter how much quinoa or rolled oats you put into a dish, they will never be fooled. Meatless just tastes different.
Now there’s the Perfect Meatless Meatloaf. With this meatloaf, you will never again hear complaints from your bloodthirsty friends and family when you try to get them to eat a little less animal protein and a little more bean paste.
First, make a meatloaf as you normally would. This step is important. This meatloaf must in all ways be a regular, meat-filled meatloaf. Your carnivores must see you making it, smell you baking it, and hear you mumbling the directions to yourself: “Okay, so now I start mixing the meat with bread crumbs. Okay, then I add a beaten egg to the meat mixture. Good. Wow, that’s a lot of meat.”
Second, just before serving, send the carnivores out to buy you something. Maybe you need beer, or Mass Effect 4, or new slippers. Oh no! You just realized you need those things, but you can’t go get them! Your hands are covered in meat! See? Look at how much meat there is!
When they get back, they will never realize the trick you have played on them. Serve up the meatloaf you made, then sit back and let the compliments roll in. “This is really great meatloaf! I can totally taste the meat! Delicious!” I guarantee, no one will accuse you of serving up a nutloaf covered in ketchup.