The Worst Giveaway Idea Ever: The #BlogHer11 and #HomeHer11 Terrible Jam Giveaways (Winners)

This was the worst idea I’ve ever had. Is that hyperbolic? I don’t know why I thought I could pull this off.

So, the Terrible Jam Giveways: I had people attending #HomeHer11 enter to win by leaving a comment over on this post with the #HomeHer11 hashtag and enter to win some terrible jam. I said I’d pick a winner sometime on Saturday night.


I didn’t open my computer the entire weekend, and I only sent out the link to the giveaway maybe twice to the #HomeHer11 crowd, and both of those were before BlogHer even started. So, I had very few entries (which, well, the jam is terrible, so of course), and I didn’t even choose a winner on time. But here: The winner is Emsxiety. Applaud for her.

The other part of this giveaway involved me bringing another jar of jam to BlogHer, making people say “O Captain My Captain” before I’d give them a numbered business card, then drawing a number while at the conference so I could give the jar away to the winner. This was totally idiotic.

First, it was idiotic to ask people to greet me that way, because who does that? (Although, you brave few souls who did? I love you.) Second, I actually refused to give my business card out to people who didn’t say it, because I was saving the few I had for this giveaway. What. The. Hell.?.?.?. Literally, refused. Like, I gave one out to a person who did the “O Captain My Captain” thing, and then when her friend asked me for a card I was all “No. I’m saving these.” Idiot.

Second, I didn’t tell anyone on Twitter while AT BlogHer that I was doing this, so it’s not like everyone I met was all “Hey, you’re doing that Terrible Jam thing, right?” They would just give me a card, and I would say “Hi” and not give them a card (because I was saving them) and then we’d be awkward and I was walking around with a pocket full of numbered business cards that I wasn’t giving out.

Third, I actually announced the BlogHer jam giveaway winner while at the conference, but it was at 2 am, on Twitter, after several parties, when I remembered the damned thing after walking into my hotel room and seeing it on the table. I have no idea who won, because I WASN’T KEEPING TRACK OF PEOPLE. No, I thought I’d just announce the number and of course the person would see, on their blazing #BlogHer11 twitter stream, that I had pulled their number.

Fourth,…no, no more.

The winner of the #BlogHer11 Terrible Jam is number 7. Whoever has card number 7. I have no idea who it is. You probably threw the card out already.

God I’m stupid.

Don’t let me do giveaways for your product. I can’t even do them for my own.

Once again, congratulations to Emsxiety and Card Number 7, whoever that is.

14 thoughts on “The Worst Giveaway Idea Ever: The #BlogHer11 and #HomeHer11 Terrible Jam Giveaways (Winners)”

  1. Jeez… and I thought I was bad about this kind of stuff. This takes the cake for worst giveaway ever on all counts.

    Except this post. Which did make me laugh.

    p.s. Sorry about drawing blood while scratching out my grammatical error while drinking tequila sunrises and laughing in that crazy way that lets people know that I'm edging toward hysterical. Hope I didn't scare you!
    My recent post Distance Makes the Heart Grows Fonder, and by "Distance" I Mean "Summer Camp"

    1. I still have a scar….No, you were perfect, every single time I saw you. A total pleasure to run into.

  2. I liked the greeting you with O Captain My Captain idea because I have social anxiety. Just going up to someone & saying "Hi, are you so & so? I love your blog" is too much for me, but if someone specifically tells me "greet me this way" in a humorous post I find it much easier to do. Had I been at Blog Her, I would have done it; though probably I would have stalked you for awhile & seen if anyone else did it first & then I would be the creepy stalker chick forever to you.

    1. I didn't see a single creepy stalker chick, so at least you would have been unique!

  3. I'm still excited I won, even if it was the worst giveaway idea ever. My husband look at it and said only you would win that. I took that as a compliment!
    My recent post Frustrated..

  4. First, if I had known about this "O Captain, My Captain" thing during the #patriarchy! session I'd have totally given you shit for that. Dude. What. Were. You. Thinking?

    Second, Yay Em! You do not know this but Em is an old, old, old and close friend of mine. Seriously. So Yay, yay, yay! She is the perfect person to win some really Terrible Jam. I am not kidding. Yay you! Yay Em! Yay Terrible Jam!

    My recent post Three Girls

    1. The “O Captain My Captain” thing is a running joke here on the blog. Turns out, it's way awkward out loud. Way.

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