Strange Side Effects of the Slow Carb, 4-Hour Body Diet

10/19/2011 By Shawn Burns

So, I’ve been doing this thing, this program, this diet, this idea, this whatever for a month and some change. Over the course of that time, I’ve lost 13 pounds, and including the ten weeks I was just adding protein shakes in the morning, I’ve lost 18 pounds. That’s great. That’s what I was hoping would happen.

But I’ve also had two unexpected things happen. First, I never nap anymore. I used to want to take naps all the time. I don’t know why I don’t nap anymore, beyond just not feeling tired. Maybe a steady diet of eggs, spinach, beans, and chicken just doesn’t turn your body into a hibernator. I noticed today (it’s Cheat Day) that I DO want to nap. Oh god, I’ve wanted to nap all day. More flour and sugar makes me sleepy? Maybe.

Second, I don’t have dandruff anymore. (Hi there. I used to be a flaky mess.) This was totally out of the blue, Selson or otherwise. I don’t want to claim that the Slow Carb Diet is a dandruff cure, but hell, I think the Slow Carb Diet might be a dandruff cure.

That’s kind of amazing. It makes me want to go get a haircut, just so I can sit there and not have the stylist try to sell me a special shampoo. That was a pretty regular, and mortifying, thing. But apart from buying those special shampoos, what else was there to do? I don’t know.

Maybe spinach held my answer all along. Or maybe it’s the eggs. Or the lack of flour or sugar. I don’t know. It’s not like I’d ever really even looked into why I might have that problem. But this is a crazy random happenstance, and I have to attribute it to something that’s changed, and the only thing I can think of that changed was what I’m eating.

I’m fearlessly wearing a black t-shirt right now.